


Pros and Cons of Working with a Loved One

by uofmdragon



Series: CC Trope Bingo [6]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Alternate Universe - Domestic, M/M, Snarking over the Comms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 07:42:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20870636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uofmdragon/pseuds/uofmdragon
Summary: The worst part of bodyguarding a celebrity at a convention is listening to Clint's commentary over the comms.  It's also the best part.





	Pros and Cons of Working with a Loved One

**Author's Note:**

> AU - Bodyguard, AU-Domestic  
Trope: Snarking over comms
> 
> Written for CC Trope Bingo with a beta by lapillus

"Sir, I want it noted that I'm behaving," Clint stated over comms. "And trying not to comment on some of these outfits." There was a brief pause. "Also, I'm not beating up on the pervs hitting up jailbait."

Phil scanned the area, noting the various costumes. Some showed a lot of skin, some were covered, but still left little to the imagination. Clint had no room to talk though. "It's a good thing, you're behaving or else I'd be forced to remind you of a certain circus outfit."

"You told me you burned those pictures," Clint hissed over the mics.

"After I scanned them," Phil replied, smiling just a bit. He could picture Clint, glaring at some poor con-goer, because he couldn't glare at Phil right now. Knowing Clint it was directed at the pervs. Neither of them would actually let something happen to a con-goer, even if their primary goal was making sure Steve Rogers, one of the stars of the new Star Wars movie was safe. Right now, he was signing autographs along with Mantis and T'Challa. The three of them made up the new trio. 

"Ugh, someone just walked by with some food from the food court. It smells so good," Clint said. 

"The signing will be done shortly. They should be ending the line soon."

"And then we get the shitty guest food."

Phil resisted an eye roll. He probably wouldn't if Clint was actually looking at him. "It's hotel food. When we get off shift, we can go out to eat."

"And pay too much for too little unless we really want to…" Clint trailed off. "Damn that's a good [Darth Talon](https://static0.thegamerimages.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Darth-Talon-Sith-Star-Wars-Cosplay.jpg?q=50&fit=crop&w=738&h=492&dpr=1.5) and she's turning away. Sorry Phil."

"It's fine, lemme know if you see someone truly rare," Phil said.

"Like the [bedazzled stormtrooper armor](https://starwarsblog.starwars.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/celebration-orlando-glitter-stormtrooper-cosplay.jpg)?" Clint asked.

"That was something interesting, not someone."

"Picky, picky," Clint grumbled. "Oh hey, jabba strangling male Leia. Hot."

Phil squashed down the bit of jealousy that flared up and decided to be grateful that Clint had gotten distracted from food, because he'd be back on it soon enough and they had two more hours of bodyguard duty.

"Alright, I've seen enough Stormtrooper armor and Mandalorian armor that I am completely unimpressed with it."

"Yet you were just talking about the bedazzled one."

"Well, that's at least doing a new spin on it."

"Fair, so the [Snow White Mandalorian Armor](https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--pcwUh9w0--/c_scale,dpr_2.0,f_auto,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/yv9syql6t55p3xue6kkg.jpg) that just got in line would meet your approval?"

"Oh, that is awesome."

"Eyes on the crowd, Barton," Phil reprimanded teasingly. 

"Yes, but it's lunch time and there's people streaming by with food," Clint reminded.

Phil sighed. He wasn't too surprised that Clint was back on food. It had only been a matter of time, maybe something shiny would pass him by and distract him again. 

"Steve is planning on taking some time off for a bit. We won't be needed for security," Phil reminded him. 

"I'm going to cook so much food when we get home: Chili, Lasagna, Stir Fry, maybe some homemade pizza."

"With the homemade crust?"

"And sauce, obviously."

Phil let his eyes close briefly, because Clint's cooking was amazing and the idea of homemade pizza sounded divine after all the catered meals they'd had. He opened them to keep watch on the crowd. 

"Probably make cheese bread, too."

"Clint, you need to stop," Phil said softly. "You're making _me_ hungry."

"Sorry," Clint said, before muttering something, which Phil suspected was 'not that sorry.' Which was more honest than his actual apology. 

"Boys," Natasha's voice came over the comms. "We're closing the line. Clint, I better be invited to this feast."

"Of course," Clint replied. "Like I would ever deny you your share."

"Good," Natasha said.

"How long is the line?" Phil asked.

"No more than another hour," Natasha replied. "They've kept it moving fairly quickly."

"Poor fans," Clint murmured. "Do we know what's for lunch?"

"Sandwiches," Natasha said.

Phil didn't need his earpiece to hear Clint's groan. 

"We've got an hour, Phil said. "I don't suppose we could make a call for something else?"

"What'd you have in mind?" Natasha asked.

Phil mentally ran through a list of what they'd had recently - pizza, chinese, thai, mexican, even sushi one night. "Pho?"

"Oh, please," Clint said, sounding happier than he had in a bit.

"I'll see what I can do," Natasha said and Phil could hear her smile. "Usual Phil?"

"Yes, please," Phil said.

"Clint, I'll see what's popular and what they do well and if I think you'll like it, I'll get you that?"

"Yeah, try and get me something new," Clint said.

Clint must be tired of their go-tos, if he was requesting something new. They needed a break, thankfully this was the last con for a bit. They'd have a break, before the press tour. Maybe he needed to encourage Clint to work on freezing some food that would travel well. That might help alleviate his intolerance of take-out, either that or they'd need a longer break. 

"Oh my gosh," Clint's voice came over the comms and Phil came instantly alert. "[There's a dude dressed as Maui walking around with who I'm assuming is his kid as Moana.](https://files.brightside.me/files/news/part_50/502010/88460-3fMsi8f-1523026961-728-11c3a4de30-1524906371.jpg) It's adorable."

Phil smiled slightly, because Clint was back on cosplay, which meant he was focusing (or at least trying to focus) on something other than food. 

"Why do I have to be all stoic, Phil?" Clint whined.

"Because that's part of our job description," Phil replied.

"So adorable, heart melting…"

"Clint," Phil warned.

"I just wanna sing, Phil, who knows how far she'll go?"

Phil resisted the urge to sigh and hoped that Clint would be distracted soon. Instead, his earpiece was filled with Clint humming 'How far I'll go' and if he didn't get distracted it would undoubtedly turn into a medley with 'You're Welcome' and 'Shiny'. His partner had his favorites after all. 

If Clint managed to earworm himself, he'd be singing them on his way up to the hotel room, which might mean a movie marathon while Clint cooked. It wasn't his favorite thing to watch, but he'd do it, just so he could spend time along with Clint. He was looking forward to spending time along with Clint, well, alone with Clint and Natasha.


End file.
